Why the French are clueless about wine: Confessions of a British wine columnist in France Paperback (Dec, 2020)

How is man boobs a wine fault? How can you spot a fake wine? Will China be making the world's greatest wines soon? How do you spot a good wine list? And choose well from a bad one? Are medals worth anything? What should you drink at 35,000 feet? Why is wine writing dull? Are wine gadgets just Plenty O'Toole? What's boring about Victoria Moore? And how can you learn all you need to know about wine?

These entertaining, offbeat columns on wine culture (from three years as columnist at France's The Connexion newspaper) tell you all you need to know about choosing, enjoying, and talking about wine - and how to avoid the wines you shouldn't be drinking. 

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• Paperback : 138 pages
• ISBN-13 : 979-8687568340
• Dimensions : 5 x 0.32 x 8 inches
• Publisher : Independently published (November 14, 2020)
• ASIN : B08NDVJ63W
• Language: : English

This summer's crazy rosé craze

WE WERE out of rosé. I squeezed red and white wine into a pichet from two bag-in-boxes until a rosé colour was achieved. The shame made me want to string the bags around my neck as a penance like the ancient mariner's albatross. My crime is matched by the grapefruit-flavoured disrespect heaped on rosé by Loire producers of Rosé-Pamp. In a risible attempt to give their flavoured wine a veneer of sophistication, marketers trace its origin to a Kir Vendômois (unknown to Google). The supermarket space dedicated to Rosé-Pamp has almost eclipsed the good news coming out of the Loire Valley: sales of Cabernet d’Anjou are up 10%. 

Full article first published in The Connexion (August, 2013)

'Tis the season of mystification not mellow fruitfulness

HYDROMETERS and spectrometers are on hand this month when winemakers trade farm overalls for white coats and morph from bacchanalian artisans into pointy-headed geeks. Cellars are transformed in a flurry, too. As suddenly and completely as Prohibition speakeasies flip-flopped from boozy saloons into respectable cabaret diners just before a police raid, tasting tables with half-finished bottles are replaced by a jumble of oenological paraphernalia and clean jars yeast, sugar and acid. Give winemakers a wide berth in September - they prefer to discuss specific gravity or the Higgs boson rather than mellow fruitfulness.

Full article first published in The Connexion (September, 2012).

Enjoy some fruity passions found in the hedgerow

TED the blacksmith, Sister Lucy, Jones the church organist, Mrs Wigley, Fowles the chemist and old Mrs Pickering are my merry companions this summer, though I am not holidaying in Camberwick Green. I'm reading Margaret Vaughan - the Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall of wine-making. Where others see a hedge of wild flowers, she and her village oenophile friends see gallons of Hedgerow Punch. Despite her sensible shoes, she praises the “leg-buckling” quality of Mrs Wigley’s oak leaf wine. I re-read her Dandelion wine entry before grasping why it had her “negotiating her knicker elastic”. Learn the secrets of simple, Post Order winning, hedgerow wines.

Full article first published in The Connexion (August, 2012)

Champagne lovers need to look for a taste of terroir

YEARS of marketing Champagne as a luxury accessory have transformed the way we think about bubbly. Hardly anyone thinks about Champagne as they do about other wines. It’s associated with brands, not chateaux or grapes, and yet it seems to come from no place in particular. A Bordeaux comes from the Médoc, Pauillac, Margaux, St-Emilion, Pomerol, and so on. But can you name a single Champagne terroir? The distinctions of terroir make artisanal Champagnes more idiosyncratic than those from the big houses. As one grower-producer puts it, “Champagne used to be singular, now it’s plural, with many winemakers, villages and styles.”

Full article first published in The Connexion (December, 2011)

Pass the cup of crimson wonder: biodynamic, organic or natural?

IF SKIPPING around Maypoles swigging wine from acorn cups is your thing, let me recommend Jethro Tull’s springtime ditty, Pass the Cup of Crimson Wonder. It's tempting to see Tull's ‘Green Man’ as a biodynamic winemaker. But when I attended a biodynamic tasting, some wines were having a bad "leaf day" (a day normally propitious for expression, say acolytes). Practicing biodynamic farming rituals is more about manifesting faith in Rudolf Steiner's vision than winemaking. The organic label is no guarantee either. This Beltane, my crimson wonder is a  local 'natural' wine. Menace your caviste with your Maypole if doesn’t stock any.

Full article first published in The Connexion (May, 2011)

Are we drinking better, or just better imitations?

CHÂTEAU VULI’s upmarket red wine is lightly oaked with a wild vanilla aftertaste. These flavours come from additives, including an old table, a vanilla-scented air-freshener and cardboard. While not forbidden in Groland (France’s satirical double in the eponymous Canal+ TV news show), how much does this resemble real viticulture? Quite a lot. Industrial-scale wineries pump out highly manipulated, flavour-enhanced, similar-tasting, cheapish imitations of expensive wines. Advocates of these techniques emphasise “giving consumers what they want”. The losers are people (like me) who want to drink more, really good, inexpensive wines.

Full article first published in The Connexion (March 2011)

SEE BELOW FOR CHATEAU VULI FROM GROLAND

Château Vuli